One Mama’s Journey

One Mama's Journey

This post originally shared on earthmamaorganics.com.

Some of Mama’s Bump Squad want to wait to reveal their pregnancies publicly, one sweet mama explains her choice.

In June of 2015 I got the plus sign I had been yearning for. I never really enjoyed peeing on a stick, but the joy of seeing the plus sign when I am done is well worth the grossness I felt. 🙂 I was about 5-6 weeks pregnant with our fourth child! I could not contain my excitement. I told the world.

Early August was my first appointment. I was 8-9 weeks pregnant and was beyond excited to see my sweet baby on the ultra sound screen. At this stage we have already nicknamed the baby our little gummy bear, as that is what each of our babies has looked like. Undressed and vulnerable a vaginal ultra sounds was conducted. The Yolk Sac was present and healthy. However, it was empty. There was nothing there. Where was my sweet baby? In the previous months I had been diagnosed with Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome so the doc and I decided to give it sometime before we jump to conclusions. The only explanation would be that I did not ovulated when I thought I did. Which really, I knew the dates did not match up at all. Although the doctor did not give up hope I was crushed.

Two weeks later I found myself vulnerable yet again receiving a vaginal ultra sound. Again, the yolk sac was beautiful. Still only measuring 5 weeks and empty. My heart was broken. I fell apart when the doctor explained to me that I had a Blighted Ovum pregnancy. I felt empty. I was empty. Where had my sweet baby gone? In the weeks to follow I lost the pregnancy fully.

My husband was eager to try again. I on the other hand was not so sure. This was not my first loss. I had miscarried once before. In my mind I was not ready to jump on board to experience a third miscarriage. Therefore, we waited. Our plan was to start trying again come the new year. Well, we got a little crazy and guess what?!?! We were pregnant in December! In the beginning it was very scary and I was walking on pins and needles trying everything in my power to avoid miscarriage. With my first miscarriage it was three years before we conceived again. This time it was five months. It was very fresh in my mind and had consumed me.

I am happy to say that we are thirteen weeks pregnant and are finally feeling the relief of being happy and so in love for/with our sweet baby! We are due September 7th 2016 and can’t wait!

So many people have been touched by the loss of a baby: Earth Mama’s Baby Loss Comfort site has a memorial page, grief resources for parents or concerned friends, e-mail sympathy cards and, of course, healing products that address a grieving mother’s physical needs.

Healing Hearts Baby Loss Comfort: http://www.babylosscomfort.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HealingHeartsBabyLossComfort

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